“Who am I?”
“I feel lost”
“I don’t think I have a certain passion”
These are all thoughts that have passed through our minds at one point or the other. It may be more common in your pre-teen/teen years, but these thoughts don’t belong to any age group. You can experience them whether you’re 15 or 40, and that’s okay. You’re not alone. These feelings come from a place of lack of self-awareness and not knowing how to start. Bearing in mind that “self” changes with time, and so it’s always good to check on yourself every once in a while.
Here are some tips to help get you started on your journey!
Getting to Know Yourself
An efficient first step to get to know yourself is to take some validated personality tests. These tests usually ask you several questions that make you wonder about yourself and based on your answers help highlight things about your personality. These tests are easily found online, some to consider: The Myers Personality Test – The Big 5 Personality Test – Johari Window Model – RIAESEC Test.
My Worst Self
Try not to be overwhelmed by the idea of putting your life under a microscope. There is always a fear of what I might find out about myself and what if people don’t like it. You must understand that no matter how much you ignore whatever demon is inside you, you’re never going to acknowledge your true self if you don’t address and embrace it. Making peace and acknowledging your dark side gives you the space to be able to grow as an individual and overcome whatever trait is holding you back. Besides, we all have them and our demons are always much worse in our heads than if we say them out loud. To help understand your negative traits, try keeping track of what and how you feel during negative situations. For example, during a quarrel, do you easily say hurtful things or are you more mindful? That way you can understand your pattern and if it’s something you want to work on. Another method is the personality tests, as they help underline what negative traits you might possess. A particular test in the above-mentioned is Johari Window Model, as it shines a light on how you see yourself and how others see you. Therefore, you can assess if a negative trait that you possess is affecting your friends and family.
How do you get to know someone? You spend time with them! Try blocking out the noise, and take yourself out. There has to be some “me” time, where you can mediate, exercise, go to the spa, read books, any sort of period that allows you to reflect on yourself spiritually and mentally.
A crucial part of self-love also includes blocking out the toxic people in your life that may be hindering you from growing and evolving as an individual.
As scary as that may sound, it’s always best to break down this question into smaller bits such as: What are my goals? What are my dreams? What used to be my goals and dreams? What am I good at? What does the world need? What do I like? What don’t I like? Can I monetize of it? Your physical and mental state should be reflected in the answers to these questions. Remember, it doesn’t matter how big or small the list is!
This question is very important in clarifying what your personal identity is like. Having a strong core value, whatever it may be, helps act as an anchor to any decision you may need to make. Your values should be clarified in every role in your life whether it’s as a friend, a daughter, a father, or an employee. An example of what values might be like: Compassion – Honesty – Sustainability – Competitiveness.
As cliché as this statement is, but you need to get out of your comfort zone! Try exploring different extracurricular activities that you wouldn’t normally join, or trying out a new sport, a new hobby, a part-time job, or try learning a new skill. All of these things expose you to new communities and experiences that can help you dictate what you do and don’t enjoy, and even help you discover a passion you never thought you would end up pursuing.
Did you find this article useful?
Let us know what you think!
Our E-mail Address